The inspirational quotes that made 2023 worse

and a new 2024 mindset

“Hardy habits and few wants.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote this about his friend Henry David Thoreau in 1862.

I have a counter for them both.

What about semi-consistent sometimes abandoned habits and wants beyond your wildest dreams?

I have for the last four or five years discovered a side of me that, once awakened and acknowledged and allowed to grow, has become something of an insatiable beast.

It is the ridiculous desire to live a life that is 1) unusual and 2) fantastic. (Paired with a self-destructive pursuit of those two things)

As my internet personality hero John Green said:

“What is the point of being alive if you don’t at least try to do something remarkable?”

I wanted to be the exemplar of John Green’s call to action. I wanted to be one of those people that pushed past the doubts and the confused looks and the seemingly wasted time and came out the other side with a great story about my struggle to break out of the “traditional” lifestyle and the ways my life was now wonderful and unique and creatively fulfilling. I wanted to write and make a living on my own curiosity and imagination. And if I just worked hard enough it would happen and (more importantly) I would be happy on the path to that goal as well as at the destination itself.

But it’s not that simple.

After a year of pursuit through various means – YouTube primarily, but also this newsletter and various short-lived attempts at other social media platforms – I have come no closer to the goal (as ill-defined as it is) and now, at the start of 2024, am hit with a difficult question:

Did I enjoy 2023?

Was the extra work worth it? Was I happy on the path to this thing I think I want? What was my ratio of being frustrated/exhausted/upset/demoralized to excited/curious/confident/energized?

Was coming home from a full time job only to continue sitting behind a computer making my life better? Was this just part of the “grind it out” period, and if so, was the destination worth it?

Annie Dillard wrote:

“The way we spend our days is, of course, the way we spend our lives.”

That’s a significant amount of pressure. What is the proper way to spend your days?

I spent every free moment of 2023 pursuing a “dream,” which on its surface seems like the best possible way to spend one’s time. It has not felt that way.

It felt a lot more like uncertainty. (about what I was doing and if I was doing it “right”)

So, was I using my time the best way possible?

After a year, the answer seems to be “no.” Or at least a confused and frightened “I don’t know.”

But that’s also inevitable, right? Who uses every second of their day doing exactly what is most fulfilling and impactful and important? No one.

So, if we all suck at making the most of our days, does that by extension mean we won’t make the most of our lives?

Leonardo da Vinci wrote:

“As a well-spent day brings happy sleep, so a life well spent brings a happy sleep.”

The volume of these types of quotes is staggering (I’ve rattled off four already). There are a few of them taped to my wall, with the expectation that they will fill me with inspiration. I am now more concerned they’ve only been filling me with dread.

If the contents of our day become the contents of our lives, each day feels essential. And each wasted moment feels like a betrayal.

Everyday must be spent on the things that matter most to us, which presupposes we know what those things are.

Everyday is an opportunity to do what you love, take risks, challenge yourself, express yourself, pursue a passion, and on and on with all the stuff you see on social media about “taking control of your life” but what this entire mindset brushes under the rug is the fact that if each day is a chance to “seize the day,” it is also a chance to fall short.

When you’re stuck in this “build your own life” mindset and you stumble, it’s like the world is ending. When you’ve been sold the motivational quotes telling you that each second of your day must be spent in pursuit of your truest passion, and that each day is an essential building block of your life, the consequence of failing is astronomical.

You’ve failed, somehow, in your boundless stupidity, to be yourself.

You’ve settled for a life of “quiet desperation,” you’ve let the chance for a perfect, creative, exciting existence slip through your fingers because you lost focus for one day. No one was making you do this; you were doing it because you loved it. That’s what you said, that’s what you told people. And you couldn’t even succeed at that? You couldn’t even commit to your own passions?

That’s what you tell yourself. And that’s what you hear when you read quotes like that of Demosthenes in 349 BC:

“For such as a man’s practice is, such must his spirit be.”

Each day presents you with a sliver of time, between work and sleep and the ceaseless obligations and distractions, for you to “choose” what you want to do. If you are wrong, it’s only your spirit you’re throwing away.

Good luck.

So what to make of all this internal panic as we approach the end of the first week of 2024 and I, like many of you I’m sure, am already somehow behind on my goals?

What does it mean to pursue a creative passion when the frantic, hyper-focused, high-stakes approach of 2023 has lost its luster?

It might mean slowing down. Creating a schedule (because waiting for “inspiration to strike” is a sure-fire way to never create), but crafting that schedule with more care, more breathing room, and lower stakes. If you fail to post every month or every week or (for those who apparently don’t sleep) every day, it’s okay. You haven’t kicked your future happiness off a cliff by taking a breath today. You are still you. You still love creating, even if sometimes you don’t.

You aren’t, most important of all, a failure.

Does this mean you are accepting a life less than your potential? The voice in your head asks, despite your best efforts to ignore it.

Maybe.

But in 2024, there’s a new definition of “potential” coming into shape. I can’t make it out quite yet. It will likely become clear one day and I’ll feel dumb for the fog of my vision today. Until then, I’ll try as much as my hyper-active brain will allow to stop viewing everyday as the touchstone of my life (where my entire potential hangs in the balance if I don’t act NOW).

Really I just want a slower, more forgiving 2024.

We’ll see how it goes.